Setting Our Children on a Path to Success

As homeschool parents, we all want to ensure that our children are prepared for college and their future careers. However, it's important to remember that college and job employers value character just as much, if not more, than content knowledge. The problem is that it is much easier to teach a person new information than it is to teach them character.

Character is formed at a young age, and the home is often where this formation takes place. According to DeMill, teaching is more about the teacher than the student. As homeschool parents, we must be aware of how we react to our children and how we create systems to deal with them.

One way to ensure that our children are well-rounded and have strong character is to strive for ideals in our homeschooling. The concept of "The Idea of a School" by John Dewey highlights the importance of having ideals to strive for, even if they may not be fully attainable. A good school, according to Dewey, is a "faculty of friends that attracts learners."

But how do we create attraction for learning in our homeschool? One way is to be intellectually excited about the subjects we are teaching. Our enthusiasm can be contagious and can spark curiosity in our children. Additionally, we should also focus on physical and mental readiness for learning. Preparation alone is not enough; we must also create a culture of care, love and provide a rich curriculum.

It's important to remember that love is a vital component of any education. As homeschool parents, we believe that we love our children, but sometimes that love may not be active. Active love means showing it through our actions, words, and intangibles. It's also important to be aware of what is happening invisibly in the classroom. The sense that a student is believed in can make a huge impact on their development.

In conclusion, as homeschool parents, it is important to remember that character formation is just as important as content knowledge in preparing our children for college and their future careers. By striving for ideals, being excited about learning, fostering a culture of care and love, and being aware of the invisible dynamics in the classroom, we can set our children on the path to success.

Deflated

Does anyones Monday feel like this? Like you just want a restart do-over. Flat tires are so inconvenient. They stop us dead in our tracks and require us to rearrange and reprioritize our day. You can not go anywhere! You can also have a flat tire emotionally and spiritually. Your body soul and spirit can be deflated. So what do you do when this happens. Do you drive on the rim? So many people are driving on the rim. Sparks are flying as the metal grinds on the cement. The stress and cares of life can leave us edgy and impatient. However, riding the rim ruins the wheel and tire. Trying to keep going when deflated will ruin you. Take the inconvenience and reset. Turn it into an opportunity to reprioritize.

Essentials - Watch this First!

This video will encourage you on your Essentials journey. Whether you are just getting started and trying to figure it all out or if you are entering your 8th year. Take a moment in the midst of your planning and remember the why behind the what.

“God Wastes Nothing”

Why is Essentials Such a Beast?!

There is no one way to "set up and do" Essentials correctly. This video will encourage you to find your flow. Know your personal work style and how your student learns best. 

Baby Steps

Does anyone remember the 1991 movie, "What About Bob?" Richard Dreyfuss is a psychiatrist, who writes a book, and helps his patient, Bill Murry, through a process called, "Baby Steps." The idea is simple. Focus on one small thing at a time to achieve small goals which will build to achieving larger goals. It seems simple enough right but it's much harder to actually do. Recently I was considering this whole idea in reverse. When we have goals or habits we do not just one day fall away from them 100%. We make small choices little by little that then leave us far from our desired point. Take gaining weight for example. You do not wake up one morning suddenly 50 lbs overweight. Small choices across a broad period of time have left you far from your desired goal. Now let's consider this with regard to spiritual habits. We can be Christian and not hear the voice of God and feel very far away from His presence.

When God began, in Genesis with Adam and Eve He walked and talked with them in a close personal way. After sin entered the world Baby Step by Baby Step this close personal intimacy with God eroded. In Abraham's time, God still appeared and talked to him. By the time we get to Exodus, we see the presence of God becoming a feared distant unknown. He leads the Israelites by a pillar of cloud and a pillar of fire. Gone were the days of walking and talking with God in the cool of the Garden of Eden. As more time went on the personal distance between God and man increased. Note God had not gone anywhere but the relationship was no longer personal. Only designated prophets and judges had the privilege of the presence of God. Finally, God is rejected, a king is demanded, and a substitute is preferred over the real thing. Baby Step by Baby Step the relationship breaks down till is it relegated to impersonal laws and traditions. God's desire for a close personal relationship never changed we stepped further and further away.

“...a substitute is preferred over the real thing.”

If you have been a follower of Christ for any length of time you will recognize that this same process can take place in our lives. Prayer, Bible reading, and daily devotions can become a habit instead of a relationship. You used to jump out of bed, get up early, and spend time with the Lord and now you find it gets brushed off by the duties of life. You want to hear God speak, but the interruptions of children and the distractions of phone notifications constantly bombard you.

Life happens! Baby Step by Baby Step you get pulled from the most important life-giving relationship. The only way you can get back what you desire is by taking Baby Steps. Don't let the guilt of who you used to be stop you from moving forward today. Don't let comparison of what your time with God used to look like hinder you from having it today in the midst of doing life.

Find moments and make them matter!

God's can show up and meet you with his presence anywhere...

....While nursing a little one - whisper to God your heart

....While waiting at sports practice - put down the phone and read His Word

...While cleaning the house - put on worship music and dance like David

...While Commuting to Work, Working out, Taking a walk, Making Dinner

Take Baby Steps back into His presence. Take Baby Steps toward your goals.

Enjoying Your Teenage Daughter

Teenage girls can get a bad reputation. Sure they are moody, filled with attitude and hormones beyond control but under all that there are golden nuggets of enjoyment. Being able to enjoy little day blessings about your teenager will make it so that when you look back on these years there will be fond memories. Here are some fun advantages to having a teenage daughter. 

1. Back Up - As a woman, we have all been caught off guard by our monthly visitor, "that time of the month." Once your daughter has entered this stage she serves as a constant product back up. No more late night trips to the grocery store for you or your husband. Raiding her stash is a life saver. How about cash? I swear my kids have more money than I do. Without fail, I hit them up for change to pay the parking meter or tip the valet. Little life-saving moments like these make me glad to have teenagers. 

2. She can use my credit card - Yes, I said this is a good thing. It is so nice to pull up to the grocery store, hand her my card, and tell her to run in for the milk. I pull into the parking stall and close my eyes for just a minute. 

3. Makeup Tip- I know there are different ideas about when young girls should wear makeup. Mine loves costuming and makeup so she has a pretty good stockpile of products - and good stuff too! Recently we were on vacations getting ready in the bathroom together. Alas, I forgot to pack my mascara. So I borrow hers. I later notice her eyeliner was amazing. I ask to use it. I was given a long look that says, "mom stop stealing my stuff," but I take it anyway. I now have the best eyeliner. 

4. The Conversations are Interesting - Gone and never to return are the days of playing kitchen and being made fake food. Sniff. Sniff. But replacing it are actual interesting conversations. I love hearing how she thinks, and why. She see the world from a different perspective. I won't lie, sometimes I have to grit my teeth and smile but overall I am glad she are talking to me. 

5. Her Chores are Helpful- For over a decade, I am have been training her on how to do her chores properly. I remember when she would load the dishwasher and be so proud of her accomplishment. After she walked away I had to redo it all but not now! Dishes getting cleaned, counters get washed, bathrooms get scrubbed. The training investment is paying off. Now if I can get her to do it without the constant reminders. 

6. She is funny - At this age she understands humor. Everything is not potty humor, that's my boys. When she wants to show me a funny meme or youtube video I jump. She says and does funny things. Laughing with my teenager reminders her that I am human and I do have a sense of humor. 

7. Fashion Advice - Having a second opinion around is refreshing. I can ask her, "does this make my butt look big," or "do I look fat in this." and I will get honest advice. She keeps me in my age appropriate wardrobe lane and encourages me to step out of my mom zone and add a little pizzaz. 

8. Starbucks Partner - I swore I would not have one of those Frappuccino loving teens and guess what? I have one of those Frappuccino loving teens. Never say Never! But hey I am ok with it. I can either send her in for my drink (see number #2) or I have a guaranteed coffee date. A 30-minute rap session over coffee makes her feel cool and I get to soak a few moments with one of my favorite humans. 

If you have a teenage daughter, pray for her like crazy. Enjoy every moment for what it brings. Hug her a little tighter. Tell her you love her!

 

 

 

Tell her Often - She is Beautiful !

Meaning in the Mundane

Are you an Average person who wants to live an Extraordinary Life? Find Meaning in the Mundane. I know that doesn’t sound exciting but Meaning in the Mundane is where you will find some of the most extraordinary moments of life. Mundane by definition is characterized as practical, ordinary, or commonplace. Tasks that are mundane never seem extraordinary at the time you are doing them. Seasons that are mundane never seem to be extraordinary when you are walking through them. How does mundane become extraordinary? Let me explain.

Let’s look at a financial example to explain this principle. When you save money and you start early in life you enjoy the benefits of compounding interest. Compounding interest rewards your minuscule monthly savings with a massive payout in the end. Compounding interest does the hard work to get you the gains you need. Once you have made the deposit it continues to grow,. If done correctly the payout at retirement is larger than any amount you could have saved for in a lump sum. The mundane task of saving means you have an enjoyable retirement

How about a mom example. You have a baby. They are cute, cuddly and poop a lot. For years, day and night you change their diapers, wipe their too-shies and get peed on as a reward. It's a dirty mundane task but someone has to do it. Then one day it’s time to potty train. You read the potty training book. You purchase stickers, treats, and fancy “big kid” underwear as incentives. You read books to your kids about pooping in the potty! All of this is mundane. Last time I checked there are no awards for moms potty training their children. Yet it is an incredibly important skill. Without it, the world would be a stinky mess! The day arrives and you start the process of training. There is poop, pee, laundry, tears and laughter. Asking every 2 min, “Do you have to go potty?” Sitting on the potty with no results? Finally, it happens your kid goes poop in the potty. Your mundane process has yield a result that every mother agrees is one of the hardest earned rewards. Mundane become extraordinary. During the mundane process of potty training my kids it was not fun. It was downright gross! But now I look back and laugh, those moments are priceless. I am glad I was present for them.

Moments such as these fill my memories. I can say that early motherhood was a joyful time and my children had a happy childhood.

“When I fulfill the daily will of God I will not miss the specific will of God.”

What tasks in your life are mundane. What do you have to do every day? Make a list! Take a moment to reflect on how those mundane tasks lead to significant forward progress. Those commonplace tasks might be laying the foundation for something extraordinary. In the future when my kids are walking in the greatest moment of their destiny, I am going to remind them that I potty trained them. Without me, they would still be in diapers!

Tweens & The Struggle for Control

I have 2 modes, 100% in control or 100% going with the flow. Sharing control, planning, decision making or task 50/50 or even 30/70 challenges me to the core. As a parent, when our children are little, birth to about 10/11ish, we are pretty much 100% in control. After our kids turn 18 in the eyes of the law we are 100% no longer in control. It's those in-between years, 11-18 years old, where there is a shared responsibility that tensions and struggles seem to abound. Why? Because we, the parents are no longer 100% in charge and yet we are still 100% responsible.

In Galatians 3:23-25 Paul is on roll about the law and faith. The difference between the two, why we have each of them and which one is best. Without diving into a deep theological discussion, I would like to use this scripture to illuminate how we can navigate the 11-18-year-olds in our lives.

Galatians reads “But before faith came we were kept under guard by the law, kept for the faith which would afterward be revealed. Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.”

100% in control -

Notice how the scripture says that we are “kept under guard by the law.” When our kids are little, we have many laws/rules for them to follow. Hopefully, you have set rules about bedtime, nutrition, and behavior. During the little years, we spend much of our time saying, “No, no,” enforcing the laws of our house. Our hearts as parents is to “guard our kids.” We are not trying to keep them from having fun or experiencing life. We want to protect them until they can learn to protect themselves. If you do not have clear boundaries establish for your child you need to establish some. These laws/boundaries will help guard your child and your sanity. 

 The law is also called our “tutor.” Good rules and boundaries will teach our children right from wrong, good from evil. The law that we must look both ways before crossing the street keeps our child safe. Think of the rules/laws in your home, what are they teaching your children? Rules without purpose will break your child's spirit. Rules with a purpose with tutor your child to grow and learn to make good decisions for themselves.

100% not in control-

Galatians is clear that the purpose of the law was to guard and tutor us because there is something that comes after that is so much better, faith. If we have allowed the law to do it job our kids should move from a place where law rules to where faith rules. Consider this, for pre-school I decided when and where my kids would go to school. They had no choice and no say - that was me setting the law for them. Now when the choice comes for college hopefully they have reached a place of faith to make the decision for themselves. By this time in their life, they should know how to make good decisions. If I have to go to my kid's college admissions office or sit in their first job interview I have failed. All the rules and laws that kept them safe when they were little did not lead them to a place of “faith” for their own lives.

50/50 the in-between - 11- 18-year-olds

Here is the heart of what I see in this passage. We must set laws that guide and tutor. Then we must relinquish control in order for our children to grow into their own faith/lives. The back and forth process of keeping and relinquishing authority can only be done with discernment. Moms, we cannot make this about us, or our feelings. It is about our kid's growth. In every little area, I am constantly evaluating if my kids need law or freedom. My oldest has a healthy respect for the laws of our home and as a result, I can give her more freedoms. I can allow her to make more of her own choices. For example, she has a passion for acting. I am a little hesitant about putting her in this industry. However, she has proven to have good judgment, a solid conviction about truth, and is willing to be open with me about her life. After much discussion, we have allowed her to start taking acting classes. On the other hand, if she had it her way she would be a pasta-tarian, eating pasta only. Since she has yet to demonstrate well-rounded eating habits, she is required to fulfill the food laws of our house. As she demonstrates more wisdom in eating, I will decrease my input.

Some days we are giving control and other days we are keeping control. Letting the process of the law guide and tutor our kids. Praying for faith to take root and wisdom to begin to reign in their lives. And finally seeing faith come so that their lives are no longer ruled by law but rather by grace. Parents, we must hold the scales of law and faith in our homes. Balancing them in order to bring our children to Christ and a Christlike life. The law will bring them to Christ, or back to Christ and by faith they will be justified.

Finishing is Possible

God finishes things, and so can I. If you're like me, you always have a to-do list. I've used the Reminder app on my phone. I've used apps such as Evernote and Asana, and in the end, I seem to go back to an old pen and paper format. Keeping a list nearby is a must and adding to it as I remember what I need to do. Each week, I regroup. I move items forward onto a new clean list, and some items I've been moving forward for almost a year. I get satisfaction from crossing items off my list. For every item I cross off, I swear five more new ones hit the list.

I'm always driven to try and finish this list. I've finally realized it just ain't going to happen. One day when I was overwhelmed, God spoke to me and said, "Paige, I finish things. Why can't you?" Boom! It hit me. I began to meditate on this idea. God finished creation. At some point in the process, over the course of six days of creation, he said, "This'll do. I'm done." I don't know, maybe he had more he wanted to create. Different creatures, different plants, but he was done. He stopped, and he rested. God doesn't ask me to do anything he hasn't shown me how to do. God's not asking me to work endlessly and tirelessly without resting.

“Finished Last” will always be better than...
”Did Not Finish” which always trumps...
”Did Not Start”

God wants me to enjoy the satisfaction of completion. He wants us to experience fulfillment in finishing. Yes, there are many processes in life that will never end. In my house, it's going to be laundry. Well, unless we join a nudist colony. Things like meal planning, shopping, and prep, they're going to be ongoing in life, but seasons come and go. Seasons have starts and finishes. Think about the natural seasons. Trees are not in a constant state of blooming, nor are they in a constant season of bearing fruit. There's a season of rest. There's a season of restoration. 

We fail to achieve and complete what God has called us to because we keep adding. Things are never good enough. We keep pursuing perfection, not completion. For God, completion and perfection are the same thing. Think about raising kids. Technically in the eyes of the law, at the age of 18, my job as a mom is finished. I'll still have things that I need to do to help my adult kids.  However, my job of raising my kids will be complete and a new season will begin. It certainly won't be perfect, but it will be complete. I will have to stop and rest in the fact that I did the very best job I could.

After you start a new task, a new calling or a new passion for God, there will come a time when it's done. It may not be perfect, it may not have been everything you wanted it to be. You may or may not have accomplished all that you desired to do, but when a season of completion comes, it's time for us to stop and to rest. Maybe someone else is going to come after you, pick up the unfinished task and take it to the next level. You can reach completion. You can reach a point where you can rest and say, "God, I did my best. I did all that you asked me to do." You can enter into rest knowing that his grace is sufficient.